At this time, when it seems everyone is celebrating or avoiding the Jubilee (delete where applicable...) The creation of two Bank Holidays in a row has been a boom time for some digital channels such as Dave being able to put out back to back editions of its favourite shows such as QI and Top Gear, though this is the case for most channels on Freeview. Though there was a time when these occasions were treating as something special, a day off from the norm. But not now, in part because of any Bank Holidays meaning nothing at all to anyone now. As such schedulers in telly land agree the same as any member of the public, why bother?
Go back at least twenty years, when it seemed like Bank Holidays last had any meaning to anyone, there would be a smattering of family friends films on television to keep people who didn't go out amused. This fare would usually be a Disney film, nothing offensive almost like candy floss or chewing gum for the eyes.
An off-shoot would be Disney Time where a presenter would be at a family friendly venue to link inbetween clips of Uncle Walt's finest films and cartoons. To anyone now this would seem antiquated, almost stale and boring. You were even lucky to get special editions of The Generation Game, Swap Shop and the alike, there to entertain the family. As a business, television does not provide this at all and it seems it wants to give up on these occasions and let other things win and just be a piece of furniture in the corner rather then something special to provide entertainment to people.
But we look back on this with fondness and wonder why it can'y be like this again, the reason because we let it happen in this way. We throw some many babies out of bath water to the effect that we basically discount everything which maybe vaguely entertaining. So we are the cack handed society, who want things to be how they used to be, but hate it if it's put back to that way.
Maybe its time that people, took a look at themselves to see what they have become as such. A blank holiday, that's what...
Christmas, what does it mean for you? It might be the Christmas spirit, it might be the food, it might be the presents etc.. But it comes as no surprise, that the highlight of Christmas must be the Queen's Speech. But hold on, that's not the Queen...
"I never watch him..."
Stanley Baxter, what can we say about him? Well, for many years he was the highlight of Christmas both on ITV and the BBC as well. Baxter in himself was a master of comedy, but the cream of the crop had to be the Duchess of Brendagh. At that time an impression of the Queen was seen to be taking the mickey of the head of state, never referenced as such in the sketches but such was the influence of Baxter, that staff in the royal household used the the title privately. For nearly 25 years, his specials and series were as good anything and such was the influence that in 2008 when ITV made a retrospective about his shows, young comedians queued up to praise him for what influence that he had on them. Plus Baxter made new sketches for the show, serving as a reminder of what a performer he is.
The shows were made lushious by the orchestration from Alyn Ainsworth but not only that the direction of what was highly technical scenes which may involved Baxter play all the parts being filmed individually piece by piece and the skill in editing as well to stitch it together to make it look as real as possible. The set pieces especially in the Christmas shows were written wonderfully, but captured the essence of what ever movie or television programme they were taking off. A perfect example of this is Towering Quake '75 from Stanley Baxter's Christmas Box, with disaster movies being all the rage at this time, Baxter used this to be able to pull off a perfect parody of the genre. Below is the 9 minutes and 32 seconds of joy which is that, showing what a master he is.
Oh dear, what can the matter be?
All of Stanley's characters are stuck in the lavatory...
But the one sketch which get me is Stanley's Nationwide sketch, taking the process of Nationwide and giving a spin from Stanley... Enjoy and don't forget to pass that cake around the regions....
Getting away with it Scot-free...
Back tommorow as we arrive at the 12th and final bit of Christmas, so I do hope you can join me then...
All back? Settled in? Good, now we can start again... One person can be indentified with Christmas and its not Santa Claus... His name is something so Christmassy that the Egg Nog would curdle in itself, that is Noel Edmonds.
Noel usually to be found up the BT Tower on Christmas Day has been associated with the big day since 1984, though his first Christmas Day programme was to be found at Beaulieu with Mike Smith on duty as well. With 1985 being the launch pad for Comic Relief, in associating with live television firsts meant that Noel could always pull out something from his stocking.
Default Noel Position #75... Hand in pocket...
Once in a while though, Mr Edmonds does have it put all back onto him. Take for example, the clip above. Its the end of the Late, Late Breakfast show's run in 1983 and throughout the series Noel has been send out the Hit Squad to play pranks on people, but maybe it's time for some own back... Thanks to the BBC1 announcer who's in on the joke...
Later on in the decade, Noel started the tradition of his Christmas presents being like the BBC's Cilla and the late Sir Jimmy Savile by having people writing to his programme and Noel would turn up at a person's house, ready to give them a surprise and a present as well...
Socks? A Jumper, maybe? No, when they say go big, Noel goes big!
Hollies... All the way!
For this gentleman who is a huge fan of the Hollies, a CD wasn't enough... How about a private concert from the band itself? In all of this, Noel can be seen to saccharin sweet with this type of thing. But you don't have to take sugar in your beverage at all, it the idea of something impossible made real which makes Noel, the master of Christmas... He might have gone from the BBC but his presents maybe on Sky now, the surprise element always can be there, but nothing says Christmas like Noel...
Or hang on...
When presenting Swap Shop, a working model of BBC1's 1980 Christmas ident was brought onto the programme to show how it worked, so Noel loves idents does he? Yes, he does... But if there's a gag involved, he's the first one to do it...
"Blast!"
After Christmas 1985, Noel decided to start 1986 with a blast... Literally... Destroying the 1985 BBC1 Christmas ident with a blunderbuss? Sacrilegious! No, not really... In which a good way to show a sense of humour by doing this, but didn't Bottom use guns? So the best comedy comes in blowing something up, so Noel, Noel... Born is the king of Christmas...
Over 500 channels and in the beginning it was a dummy's head in 20 line vision, we've come a long way with television in 75 years from 4:3 to 16:9 and HD. But what's the part that anyone matters, its whether their show will be on at the same time every week, nay every day in some cases. The schedules have been a key pat of the growth of television if that be cooking with Fanny Craddock, A boxing match from the Empire Baths, Wembley or Jools Holland and Paula Yates giving a kick up the anals of television with The Tube. Looking through the television pages say for a Thursday, taking today (13/10/2011) as an example, ask anyone what's on BBC1 at 7.30pm tonight and they'll say Eastenders, that's no matter if they like the programme or not. Its like an in-built sat-nav really that we can tell without looking at television listings when our favourite programmes are on generally.
"Give it the works... *click*"
Scheduling follows a pattern in which the viewer has the familiarity of knowing, as Michael Grade once put it "The smell of a Sunday Night hit..." Sunday's are the night of the costume drama and the detective, the way of putting the feet up and immersing in a book only in pictures and being acted out in front of you. Something like The Onedin Line or Poldark is like a world of fiction spread out, as such for the ladies a strapping but rough hero who battles the rights and wrongs of his world as his mistresses go about supporting him but with enough pep to hold their own in this world. Even something as Bergerac or Shoestring can be seen in the same vain, action and also nice scenery to look at, the men make the programmes as such to be recognisable through the winter months, such was John Nettles' effect that he was able to spread himself from the programme guaranteeing work in panto, personal appearances and also guest star spots with the likes of Les Dawson on his show. The roaring fire and the warmth plus the knot in the stomach of every youngster of that they have to go to school in the morning, this sets the scene perfectly for the post cake and sandwich tea.
A schedule is like a variety bill and of course most the early protagonists for Independent Television coming from that variety background its little surprise they do read like a variety bill in that sense. The acts underneath such as comedians and speciality acts keeping the audience amused ready for the big star to come on and do their thing at the top of the bill. For instance with Saturday nights, entertainers or comedians have always warmed the audience ready for the big show. But in the past few weeks, the new BBC One controller has changed this by putting an edition of Celebrity Masterchef early on a Saturday night where normally Total Wipeout would be to bring in the punters for Strictly Come Dancing, seemingly it has changed the landscape of what a Saturday schedule should be. But that's nothing new, even back in 1970's Lew Grade thought ITV could better be served by putting entertainment in the World of Sport slot cutting down on its hours that they were broadcasting live sport each and every Saturday. That didn't happen totally until 1985 when the programme was seemingly out of date and eventually along with Wrestling, Darts and other sports that programmes like Mind Your Language, Please Sir! and also The Cuckoo Waltz were repeated saying that they were comedy classics. To the young viewer, this was pleasing to see something I had never seen before such as the same would be said also of Windmill on BBC2 at Sunday lunchtimes.
Stand aside The Bionic Woman... It's the Pneumatic Woman!
People plead for structure in their viewing still, know that something will at the same time each day. BBC1 always starts The One Show after a trip around the regions, how much to some people it might be as mind-numbing but it bring a viewer into the evening. They might not stay with a channel for a whole night now, we are offered the choice of viewing so during in a evening I could watch The Sweeney on ITV4, Inspector Morse on ITV3, Mighty Ships on Quest and Catchphrase on Challenge. We are given free reign on being the scheduler nowadays, but when it comes down to it, we just want to know that a programme will on the same time every week or that a certain type of programme will be on at a time.
Choice? The more we want, the more we are confused... Be thankful to scheduler, at least they've made a decision for you or if that's not your bag. Look out, go for a walk, read a book or perhaps we should go back to the potter's wheel... Then at least we know what the programme would be about then...
So you've been wondering where the midweek blog was then? Oh, you haven't... Well, so... No, that's not the way to make friends or enemies. But I spent five days in Dorset on holiday, in October I hear you say. Well, that's how I roll. So apart from two lovely days it was cold and the 3G signal was more holey then a fishing net combined with a perforated teabag, meaning Twitter reading and doing anything vaguely internetty was out of the question.
With this opportunity, its time to go and annoy the blue, red, green and what other colour you can have coats, without infringing the copywrite of who owns it nowadays. So with no money following about, many people are taking the plunge and rediscovering the holiday camp after many years again now where they would take a break in the sun to remind everyone of how a holiday can be, might be and also experiencing through the lens and on the screen in Boggenstrovia's guide to knowing your holiday camps...
Everything you're wanting is at Pontin's!
Name: Pontins
Colour of Coat: Blue
Ah good ol' Fred himself, this was the choice for Jack and Stan in Holiday on the Buses. With camps throughout the land of course with at its height 30 in total with the first of them opening in 1946 which was an ex-US Army Base. So much was also made about Fred's idea to take the idea to Spain with 'Son of Pontins - Pontinental' the same shit food, only with sand in it as Victor Lewis-Smith put it in Ads Infinitum. An idea ahead of its time in which Benidorm would have just looked at and said that's what we want. The company was sold in Coral in 1978 for £56 million, a bookmakers buying a Holiday camp group? Hmm, I wonder where they got the idea for that from? Think that's weird? Coral's got taken over by Bass Breweries in 1980, so from betting to booze, maybe not the most obvious bedfellows but another world I suppose!
Trevor Hemmings led a management buy-out in 1987 but the booze was back as it was sold to Scottish and Newcastle in 1989. Newky Brown is now available in the bar! The naughties was a time where things were lean for Pontins going through administration and coming out the other side without loss of jobs or parks.
Bobby 'Nankers' Davro leads the names of famous bluecoats via Shane Ritchie, so like other camps the grounding for the these names was one of jollity entertaining people who are mostly there for a good time or either that a good booze up. Its reflective now that Pontins is trying to look towards to Disney for its ideas, taking that influence for its revamp of its parks, but having gone there in the past they may have to think again about a crocodile mascot or the surreal situation where they also had an in-camp television station which showed one story read by an old man which went through the night and was on the next morning much to my family's amazement. Who said that ITV had the monopoly on 24-hour television.
Hi-de-Hi set the benchmark for comedy in the 1980's with another smash for Jimmy Perry and the late David Croft, by using Perry's experiences of being a Redcoat for Butlins at Pwllheli they manage to create a holiday which people could recognise themselves, the frustrated turns, the bright and breezy staff and also the entertainments manager who seemed to be out of place in what he was dealing with. Though the 80's was the right time for the show to be broadcast in with the nostalgia in the 50's coming back into fashion and people seeing there own holiday experience at the camps. In terms of what it set out to do, the target was hit with the sense of the changing nature of what Britain was going through at that time with the last episode suggesting that major changes were needed with modernisation to be able to compete in the 1960's.
Want to bet there's a better holiday? Well, there is! How about this effort from Ladbrokes Holidays to tempt you to go to one of their camps, by using the stars of "Who Do You Do?" This effort
The atmosphere of camps changed over the years where people would look down on them for being cheap and cheerful, where as a knowing wink is appropriate to what it maybe seen as. It might not be the Ritz, but as with everything you pay your money and take your choice as such. Most people make do with this attitude or as it would have pleased Billy Butlin to see them take this attitude with the words "That's the spirit!" ringing in the ears of the campers or is that just Gladys Pugh's glockenspiel?
What makes a show real? Realism or a mixture of stories with something to say? Now Shameless has reached 100 shows, it has changed drama and made a debate about how it should be. Some people may see it as chavs and naer-do-wells upto no good while other may see it as the best drama in a long time. In terms of kitchen sink drama it has pushed the boundaries to the edge, learning that the basis for its drama should be what people see everyday. Of course people don't always live on a council estate, they may live in the country or in a town, but they can recognise characters they know in a show.
But these types of dramas have always tried to hold a mirror upto the nation at various time and said "Have a good look at yourself and see what you see.." Now people may not like what they see, other may see themselves and others may start to see what they are becoming. Through films such as Kes and also Saturday Night and Sunday Morning which reflected a realism which people were crying out for in the 1960's and 1970's came through a spirit, almost akin to their own properties. As we look at the 80's for example with Alan Bleasdale's Boys from the Blackstuff, showing the situation with employment as people got laid off from jobs and had to fight to survive in the atmosphere which had been created at that time. The mantra of Yosser Hughes being 'Gissa Job' was never so true at those times.
Fast forwarding to today, Shameless fills the gap where once costume drama would have filled and the characters are as compelling as any in Dallas. For Frank Gallacher, has become an idol to some but also a clarion call to others. Through the riots recently, people were screaming about this, that and everything. It is convient to show people reclaiming their cities when they think its appropriate, but for the small person it doesn't hold much truck to them. I wouldn't say that it could be claimed that I was a chav myself but in Shameless its the need for something which exists in our minds only. The need for putting everyone in the same box, there are good and bad people out there, never I could say that in judgement I could pick everyone on either side. I might be right, I might be wrong... It might be Shameless to say, that Shameless has pushed the boundaries again...
Over time, I've been noticing that adverts and the actual programmes have been merging into one. I don't mind product placement as that's been going on in America for years now, plus also teleshopping because that was a key part of ITV making money at the start.
But slowly there has been a fog of confusion creeping in, such as the Philadelphia commercial with chef Ed Baines and a member of the public. Handily they put 'Advertisement' in small writing so you can just about see it. But switch over quickly from a channel and that's on, you don't know if its a programme or not! With so many channels including Food Network on Freeview now, you'd have a job trying to remember your place on there.
"Are you sure you're not from the Blue Man Group?"
Adverts were a chance to get up and make a cup of tea once, but now they serve as another thing to keep us in our seats and have a moan at the telly. So they've caught us lock, stock and barrel. But they do push their luck a bit now, for example the Gillette Pro Duraglide Challenge Man...
.
Too horrific to even show...
This man stalks changing rooms through out the land looking for innocent young men to thrust his shiny new thing on them with his call "Whoo buddy!" Never in my life have I ever said 'Whoo'
I've said Nrrrggghh and Grrrrr, mostly at this ad... Plus all the men in the advert are happy to see him! The first words usually used in that situation are "Where the f**k did you come from? If you don't move away I'm calling the police!" Are we meant to feel kinship with this man?
Advertisers try to make us feel like these people are our mates, but it wasn't that long ago when some like Robert Dougal would be selling us Reader's Digest or Rodney Bewes would greet us with the cheery refrain "Hello Faggot lovers.." It seems like we have come to situation that we cannot even believe the celebrities we see nowadays because they might be telling us half truths. In gameshows we need Celebrities to entertain us and members of the public during the ad breaks to sell us stuff that we don't need...
Doctor News and the Daleks?
But as Rice Krispies says nowdays in its little song... "Snap, Crackle, Pop... Its a crazy, crazy world we live in..."
Maybe that's what we can only believe in, cartoons and also a monkey flogging tea... Oh how times have changed...
