"At the sporting event of the year!"

Its not everyone's cup of tea, I know that. But its there no matter, I'm talking about sport on television. As such nowadays everyone sees sports channels coming out of the woodwork all the time with even niche channels setting up. Even for me a sports fan, its too much nowadays. Whole channels just don't seem right, I was brought up on Saturday sport from a young age with Grandstand or World of Sport with the latter the choice which was always on at my grandparents when we used to visit them on a Saturday afternoon. With Sundays being the other way around at my other grandparents, so that was Match of the Day.

From 2nd of January 1965 when Eamonn Andrews introduced the first edition of World of Sport featuring on that day Motor Cycling Scrambling, Racing from Catterick and also Professional Running from Edinburgh as well. Professional? Hadn't they just only learnt to run by then? Meanwhile on the BBC, there was a diet of Racing from Aintree and also a Rugby League and Ice Hockey, both wrapped up the day's sports results.

As a fan of broadcasting as well, it was also the people who presented the programmes as well, with Dickie Davies sitting behind his desk trying to big up what sport ITV had on that afternoon. This naturally was a boon to any comedians as well knowing that they could get a sketch out of it, whether they were good or not but always material...

1. Were those ladies answering all of Steve Ryder's love letters?

Its just sprayed on you know...

French and Saunders, the two ladies who helped give comedy a kick up the 80's with their sketch shows. They saw the potential in the typists behind the sports presenters backs to be able to give them a life of their own in this 1987 sketch, the truth about what they were doing was they were doing admin like typing letters, requests and other bits of business. So it looked there was always action in the studio as well as the action which was being covered, much like dead air on the radio, an empty studio on a fast moving show is no good to anyone at all. But alike anyone there was always a sense of getting noticed in the background, knowing that even if they could get their face on the screen, well at least they would have something to say next time they were out and about!

2. "In a specially extended edition of World of Sport..."

"How?"

"Because I'm being paid good money for this!"

Fred Dinenage, what can you say about him? Except that hair you see there has receded right back nowadays.. No! But as a substitute for Dickie Davies he was the man, versatile in the same way as Jake Humphrey is today but where as Jake presented a Saturday morning show, here's Fred on the the best children's show ever Tiswas in a pre-title sequence sketch with his glamorous assistants in the background supplying him with information as well, but its most notable for that World of Sport t-shirt which has been made up so if any person or persons had been drinking the night before and switched on ITV at that time in the morning through their foggy haze would have confused themselves into thinking that it was later then they thought it was... Genius! 

So from the introduction its time for the action! Usually Auntie Beeb would be at a high class event such as thirty men throwing and egg-shaped ball about in the mud all afternoon or doing some other pursuit in the freezing weather while over at ITV they would make do with the New York State Fireman's Competition on the 10th of October 1981 or how about the World Watersking Championship from Thorpe Park on Saturday 12th September 1981? I wonder if all the competitors got a half price ticket to go on all the rides? Mind you, you would want to get wet again after plunging into the lake there? Though an example of this is this sketch from End of Part One, its a long video of the best bits but its in there. But hey, its End of Part One though! Its all good stuff you know, like an extra biscuit with your cup of tea... Beware of the racing results though, as it might bring back memories of a monotone nature...

 A very Dickie Stomach...

So after that top sporting action there only one more thing to come and that's the results... Finding out if you can afford to splash out on  the rolls, but usually more times then not a late goal has up the pathway again... Though reading out all those places week after week must take a toll on a person, because you're never going to go there so apart from a load of people vainly holding onto their pools coupons in the hope they'll get 23 or 24 points and that weeks jackpot, who on earth would could care about somewhere in the back of beyond? Or that's generally their held view because someone hasn't scored a goal to get them that crucial draw... 

Draw your own conclusions from this!

"Some godforsaken place nil..."

So we've come to end of the another action packed programme, next week we'll have Yachting from Cowes, The World Tiddlywinks Championships from Luton and Karting from Far.. nborough.. I do hope you can join again then... See you next Saturday!

Have a good week, until next week...

Over 500 channels and in the beginning it was a dummy's head in 20 line vision, we've come a long way with television in 75 years from 4:3 to 16:9 and HD. But what's the part that anyone matters, its whether their show will be on at the same time every week, nay every day in some cases. The schedules have been a key pat of the growth of television if that be cooking with Fanny Craddock, A boxing match from the Empire Baths, Wembley or Jools Holland and Paula Yates giving a kick up the anals of television with The Tube. Looking through the television pages say for a Thursday, taking today (13/10/2011) as an example, ask anyone what's on BBC1 at 7.30pm tonight and they'll say Eastenders, that's no matter if they like the programme or not. Its like an in-built sat-nav really that we can tell without looking at television listings when our favourite programmes are on generally.

"Give it the works... *click*"

Scheduling follows a pattern in which the viewer has the familiarity of knowing, as Michael Grade once put it "The smell of a Sunday Night hit..." Sunday's are the night of the costume drama and the detective, the way of putting the feet up and immersing in a book only in pictures and being acted out in front of you. Something like The Onedin Line or Poldark is like a world of fiction spread out, as such for the ladies a strapping but rough hero who battles the rights and wrongs of his world as his mistresses go about supporting him but with enough pep to hold their own in this world. Even something as Bergerac or Shoestring can be seen in the same vain, action and also nice scenery to look at, the men make the programmes as such to be recognisable through the winter months, such was John Nettles' effect that he was able to spread himself from the programme guaranteeing work in panto, personal appearances and also guest star spots with the likes of Les Dawson on his show. The roaring fire and the warmth plus the knot in the stomach of every youngster of that they have to go to school in the morning, this sets the scene perfectly for the post cake and sandwich tea.

A schedule is like a variety bill and of course most the early protagonists for Independent Television coming from that variety background its little surprise they do read like a variety bill in that sense. The acts underneath such as comedians and speciality acts keeping the audience amused ready for the big star to come on and do their thing at the top of the bill. For instance with Saturday nights, entertainers or comedians have always warmed the audience ready for the big show. But in the past few weeks, the new BBC One controller has changed this by putting an edition of Celebrity Masterchef early on a Saturday night where normally Total Wipeout would be to bring in the punters for Strictly Come Dancing, seemingly it has changed the landscape of what a Saturday schedule should be. But that's nothing new, even back in 1970's Lew Grade thought ITV could better be served by putting entertainment in the World of Sport slot cutting down on its hours that they were broadcasting live sport each and every Saturday. That didn't happen totally until 1985 when the programme was seemingly out of date and eventually along with Wrestling, Darts and other sports that programmes like Mind Your Language, Please Sir! and also The Cuckoo Waltz were repeated saying that they were comedy classics. To the young viewer, this was pleasing to see something I had never seen before such as the same would be said also of Windmill on BBC2 at Sunday lunchtimes.

Stand aside The Bionic Woman... It's the Pneumatic Woman!

People plead for structure in their viewing still, know that something will at the same time each day. BBC1 always starts The One Show after a trip around the regions, how much to some people it might be as mind-numbing but it bring a viewer into the evening. They might not stay with a channel for a whole night now, we are offered the choice of viewing so during in a evening I could watch The Sweeney on ITV4, Inspector Morse on ITV3, Mighty Ships on Quest and Catchphrase on Challenge. We are given free reign on being the scheduler nowadays, but when it comes down to it, we just want to know that a programme will on the same time every week or that a certain type of programme will be on at a time.

Choice? The more we want, the more we are confused... Be thankful to scheduler, at least they've made a decision for you or if that's not your bag. Look out, go for a walk, read a book or perhaps we should go back to the potter's wheel... Then at least we know what the programme would be about then...