Telly Selly Time...

So what do you know about where you live? In most cases, what you know yourself is kept to yourself. But sometimes there comes along an outsiders view, like most people would think about  Portsmouth as a naval city, which it is in a way. With the Baim films and the quotation quickies making films for other to see about different towns and cities. Now I'm not suggesting they were in anyway films to cheer up the masses away from the dreary lives they were used to at the time of their making during the 1970's and 80's, but they do have a feel of showing people that where they lived was OK.


Now I first saw Telly Savalas Looks Portsmouth on the now defunct Portsmouth Television and I was amazed this thing existed and they had got a copy to show to fill time of an afternoon.  When researching futher into the quotation quickies, I found out there had been several of these films voiced over by Telly Savalas, mainly to be shown alongside a main feature.  


First of all Telly talks about the streets being named about historical names, although most the streets themselves were modern streets in the Guildhall Square complex around the civic offices. It does seem that the irony in it, that he concentrates on a newer part which was only built after the war such as the Guildhall Walk. "The New Theatre Royal, well it was when it was built 130 years ago..." chirps Telly. Now over 30 years later, the development is changing again with brand new facilities being incorporated into the building. The Guildhall Walk is set against a background of clubs and pubs nowadays, meaning anyone wanting to go and see a big show there of an evening really can't because of the revellers there getting in everyone's way. Its a flaw which hasn't been resolved really, which bring me onto the next thing.


The Kings Theatre in Southsea, famous for it shows and performances of pantomimes each and every year. In different areas we see other places getting brand new state of the art theatres and here is a theatre from a Victorian age which still plods along gamely, now I am not saying get rid of it all together. But when the development of Gunwharf Quays was planned and built, surely it would have been wiser to build something there rather then struggle on. 


There is the building of the IBM complex which is in the North of the city, subsequently the new Lakeside 1000 development has sprung up with Port Solent in recent years. Like with other places, it has tried to tart the image up of the city. A main problem is Portsdown Hill always getting in the way, we can't build beyond it, it is like our very own Berlin Wall, that we are squeezed into the space we have. In other countries they would come up with a solution to solve this problem, short of blowing up the hill, this is a problem which will remain to fox most people. As a citizen, I am here for being here's sake. But I can see why people move away, say  
without any industry and a football club what are we? Another Detroit... 


I am not knocking the city as such, but it does make you think sometimes...

Jack's Bean and gone...

So here we are, the first of my 12 bits leading up to Christmas. Taking the festive season and making it drink so much Egg Nog and Absinthe, that come Boxing Day it'll be wondering about a recipe for scrambled eggs...

Starting off with...

1. Pantomines...

"He's behind you!" The regular call heard at theatres up and down the country over December and Early January, usually when someone's drink is split... Either that the refrain of children excited by sweets and also a character searching for someone. The panto has developed over the years from the early Harlequinade to today's sophisticated lights and music shows, in modern times the attraction is the stars who are in the panto itself. Taking its lead from Music Hall, the great entertainers have always appeared. From Pop stars to comedians and sports stars, they have each done their turns. Each story in turn has been adapted for the major star to show off their talent, for instance Rolf Harris would do his Jake the Peg act in the middle of Cinderella. Which bears no relationship to the plot itself, but it gave the chance to for others to shine. 


The dame is a key role in any pantomine, acting as a foil for the comical turn such as Buttons but also entertaining the audience in themself. The role has been filled with performers with the magnitude of  Chris Harris famous in the South for his time presenting 'Hey Look That's Me!' but also the quality of Les Dawson, Dawson is the master of the dame. His style, the demeanour and also the way he sells the role to the audience.... A true pro...

In myself, my experiences of panto are sort of mixed really from the Kings Theatre in Portsmouth seeing the great stars performing and getting up on stage with Brian Cant to tell an awful joke. But in meeting the great man was enough, but in that same performance... Major embarassment... When Lorraine Chase was playing Aladdin and was at a crucial scene when she finds the lamp originally, guess who shouted at the top of his voice as the lone voice "Rub the Lamp!" Which she replied "Thanks..." I could have nearly died, thinking back on it... Not the best move at all... Thinking over all the stars I saw in panto, it encouraged my love of Light Entertainment...

"Its Bobby Davro... Who?"

This gem comes from 2009 when Bobby Davro, and Mickey Rooney starred in panto in Milton Keynes... Milton Keynes isn't funny in itself, but it comes from the tradition of the stars being put into the panto who maybe don't fit as such... When Frank Bruno went into panto, it was because he was famous for his boxing but with the trend for reality stars now it seems that panto has changed into a vehicle for people who may have been on the television soon enough. The nature of this has been shown in the previous year when Britt Ekland came out of the jungle and to the Kings Theatre, it might be good publicity for the show itself. But with the currency of this, it leads to more people coming to the theatre and also something as such with their effect. 

So what else is there? Maybe a bit of festive time ads, involving panto... This from 1987 with Children's ITV , in which it feels right to be involved with panto time...

More fun here on Saturday... Enjoy people!

A quizzical situation...

In these times of the credit crunch everyone is feeling the pinch, especially the television industry. So it comes down to what ideas are cost effective and usually the solution lies in mass producible programmes such as Deal or No Deal and Countdown leading to monster runs of each basically spanning the whole year.
The phenomenal success of Pointless shows that a stranded show in the schedule puts the channel into a position where they can control what they want to do.  In the re-runs of early Pointless on Challenge, the seed is sewed as far the game is so addictive and being able to play along at home, which any quiz is giving its back teeth for.

ITV have experimented somewhat more then the BBC by re-introducing The Price Is Right with Joe Pasquale some time ago. But everyone knows about Golden Balls and Weakest Links of this world, though if it gets worse what shows will be brought back?

Here we ponder at the lesser lights which could fill up a wet Wednesday afternoon against Dickinson’s Real Deal...


Takeover Bid (BBC 1)
The Brucie lead vehicle of the late 80’s and early 90’s when he came back to the BBC, encouraging players to steal prizes off their opponents. Quite right for these times when it seems like every other company is taking over everyone else, so why not have that business-like jolly uncle turned entertainment host Gerry Robinson takes over the role of quizmaster plus with the added bonus of Adam ‘Shaw’s Shares’ Shaw as the glamorous assistant. “Your prizes value may go up or down owing to market conditions….”


Talkabout (ITV 1)
Verbally adept game show once introduced by future Peep Show executive producer Andrew O’Connor is brought up by Simon Cowell’s Syco TV in which the self appointed entertainment guru ditches the game and makes up the rules as he goes along. Contestants are punished if they don’t talk about The X Factor, Britain’s Got Talent or any show presented by Ant’n’Dec, the show is given a trillion week monster run by ITV as they see the potential to use a phone vote to get rid of the contestants one by one…

  Lucky Ladders (ITV 1)
Presented by the woman from the accident claim line adverts. As contestants come on and claim for such things as a loose fitting pen lid to a violent sneezing fit because the waitress in a Little Chef dropped the pepper. If their claim is suitable enough they are given thousands which they have to pay back eventually at double the rate of inflation…

"Gordon Bennett! No it's actually Lennie in fact..."

The Travel Quiz (BBC 1)
Contestants are giving the chance to win pictures of all the destinations that they cannot travel, all to due to the rising costs of air fuel. Due to copyright restriction, only pictures of British seaside resorts maybe used thanks to a dusty box of photos left over from Holiday ’78 found in a cupboard at the back of BBC canteen behind tins of semolina and prunes. (Andi “Ow, that’s rather hot isn’t it?” Peters not included…)




That’s My Dog (ITV 1)
Ironic twist gameshow, where half the staff of Heat Magazine are charged with
trying to control certain nightclub *ahem* beauties and keep them from getting
too merry before filming whilst Derek Hobson tries to reflect where his career has
gone and why they have turned the South-West’s number one produced gameshow
into a scene from Footballer’s Wives…



If that the case of being funny, by suggesting them its a serious business that people will tell you in the number of quiz shows have been piloted for BBC and ITV, with The Weakest Link leaving us soon, it brings into focus that when a format finishes, the next idea has to be ready to go....

So when they've started I'll finish and hopefully it'll be a starter for ten...

"At the sporting event of the year!"

Its not everyone's cup of tea, I know that. But its there no matter, I'm talking about sport on television. As such nowadays everyone sees sports channels coming out of the woodwork all the time with even niche channels setting up. Even for me a sports fan, its too much nowadays. Whole channels just don't seem right, I was brought up on Saturday sport from a young age with Grandstand or World of Sport with the latter the choice which was always on at my grandparents when we used to visit them on a Saturday afternoon. With Sundays being the other way around at my other grandparents, so that was Match of the Day.

From 2nd of January 1965 when Eamonn Andrews introduced the first edition of World of Sport featuring on that day Motor Cycling Scrambling, Racing from Catterick and also Professional Running from Edinburgh as well. Professional? Hadn't they just only learnt to run by then? Meanwhile on the BBC, there was a diet of Racing from Aintree and also a Rugby League and Ice Hockey, both wrapped up the day's sports results.

As a fan of broadcasting as well, it was also the people who presented the programmes as well, with Dickie Davies sitting behind his desk trying to big up what sport ITV had on that afternoon. This naturally was a boon to any comedians as well knowing that they could get a sketch out of it, whether they were good or not but always material...

1. Were those ladies answering all of Steve Ryder's love letters?

Its just sprayed on you know...

French and Saunders, the two ladies who helped give comedy a kick up the 80's with their sketch shows. They saw the potential in the typists behind the sports presenters backs to be able to give them a life of their own in this 1987 sketch, the truth about what they were doing was they were doing admin like typing letters, requests and other bits of business. So it looked there was always action in the studio as well as the action which was being covered, much like dead air on the radio, an empty studio on a fast moving show is no good to anyone at all. But alike anyone there was always a sense of getting noticed in the background, knowing that even if they could get their face on the screen, well at least they would have something to say next time they were out and about!

2. "In a specially extended edition of World of Sport..."

"How?"

"Because I'm being paid good money for this!"

Fred Dinenage, what can you say about him? Except that hair you see there has receded right back nowadays.. No! But as a substitute for Dickie Davies he was the man, versatile in the same way as Jake Humphrey is today but where as Jake presented a Saturday morning show, here's Fred on the the best children's show ever Tiswas in a pre-title sequence sketch with his glamorous assistants in the background supplying him with information as well, but its most notable for that World of Sport t-shirt which has been made up so if any person or persons had been drinking the night before and switched on ITV at that time in the morning through their foggy haze would have confused themselves into thinking that it was later then they thought it was... Genius! 

So from the introduction its time for the action! Usually Auntie Beeb would be at a high class event such as thirty men throwing and egg-shaped ball about in the mud all afternoon or doing some other pursuit in the freezing weather while over at ITV they would make do with the New York State Fireman's Competition on the 10th of October 1981 or how about the World Watersking Championship from Thorpe Park on Saturday 12th September 1981? I wonder if all the competitors got a half price ticket to go on all the rides? Mind you, you would want to get wet again after plunging into the lake there? Though an example of this is this sketch from End of Part One, its a long video of the best bits but its in there. But hey, its End of Part One though! Its all good stuff you know, like an extra biscuit with your cup of tea... Beware of the racing results though, as it might bring back memories of a monotone nature...

 A very Dickie Stomach...

So after that top sporting action there only one more thing to come and that's the results... Finding out if you can afford to splash out on  the rolls, but usually more times then not a late goal has up the pathway again... Though reading out all those places week after week must take a toll on a person, because you're never going to go there so apart from a load of people vainly holding onto their pools coupons in the hope they'll get 23 or 24 points and that weeks jackpot, who on earth would could care about somewhere in the back of beyond? Or that's generally their held view because someone hasn't scored a goal to get them that crucial draw... 

Draw your own conclusions from this!

"Some godforsaken place nil..."

So we've come to end of the another action packed programme, next week we'll have Yachting from Cowes, The World Tiddlywinks Championships from Luton and Karting from Far.. nborough.. I do hope you can join again then... See you next Saturday!

Shame about the show...

What makes a show real? Realism or a mixture of stories with something to say? Now Shameless has reached 100 shows, it has changed drama and made a debate about how it should be. Some people may see it as chavs and naer-do-wells upto no good while other may see it as the best drama in a long time. In terms of kitchen sink drama it has pushed the boundaries to the edge, learning that the basis for its drama should be what people see everyday. Of course people don't always live on a council estate, they may live in the country or in a town, but they can recognise characters they know in a show.

But these types of dramas have always tried to hold a mirror upto the nation at various time and said "Have a good look at yourself and see what you see.." Now people may not like what they see, other may see themselves and others may start to see what they are becoming. Through films such as Kes and also Saturday Night and Sunday Morning which reflected a realism which people were crying out for in the 1960's and 1970's came through a spirit, almost akin to their own properties. As we look at the 80's for example with Alan Bleasdale's Boys from the Blackstuff, showing the situation with employment as people got laid off from jobs and had to fight to survive in the atmosphere which had been created at that time. The mantra of Yosser Hughes being 'Gissa Job' was never so true at those times.

Fast forwarding to today, Shameless fills the gap where once costume drama would have filled and the characters are as compelling as any in Dallas. For Frank Gallacher, has become an idol to some but also a clarion call to others. Through the riots recently, people were screaming about this, that and everything. It is convient to show people reclaiming their cities when they think its appropriate, but for the small person it doesn't hold much truck to them. I wouldn't say that it could be claimed that I was a chav myself but in Shameless its the need for something which exists in our minds only. The need for putting everyone in the same box, there are good and bad people out there, never I could say that in judgement I could pick everyone on either side. I might be right, I might be wrong... It might be Shameless to say, that Shameless has pushed the boundaries again...

Candy for insomniacs...

As a young child I fascinated with television and how it worked. By seeing the identity and trails of each channel this gave me an insight into this, but there was one thing which almost seemed golden to me and that was 'What happens when television starts up and closes down each day?' I had heard about closedown from people and what it did. Not all true though, everyone's image and thoughts always seemed to vary. Wheither it was always to give an easy answer to stop a young child asking all the time, I might like to think so.

So it came to a time when I was allowed to record something on our old Betamax video which was on late at night. Before you ask, it was NBA basketball which BBC1 used to show late on Saturday nights after Match of the Day in the mid-80's. So I worked out that they would close down not long after the programme had finished, deliberately I added ten minutes longer then what was needed to see this magical thing.

Clocking off...

To tell the truth, the first idea of a closedown had come from a clip of Not The Nine O'Clock News sketch with Rowan Atkinson as the announcer closing down BBC2 at the end of the night. It used freak me out a bit, that Rowan would appear from behind the BBC2 clock and it felt it was my fault that I had caught him out. But without knowing it was a comedy, I thought it was real at a very young age.

So the next day, when I played the recording back of the basketball, I waited till the end and went through the weather and to the closedown itself. The announcer said that BBC1 was closing down for the night and that they would be back in the morning and I thought that would be it and they would switch off the signal for the night. The most exciting thing was that this voice gave a name check as who'd been announcing that night... That night it was David Miles, I couldn't have said his name but would have recognised his voice straight away. The national anthem played and then they closed down for the night after that.

But if it wasn't for these voices in-between the programmes, it would be moving wallpaper just looking the same and sounding the same as can be said of many of the digital channels nowadays, they make a channel sound human still in an auto playout world. So you wouldn't recognise Duncan Newmarch, Peter Offer or Dean Lydiate if they were walking down the street, but raise a glass that they can bring a smile to your face with a comment before a show. Because if it wasn't for them, we wouldn't know when to go to bed at night...

And that's all from us on Boggenstrovia's Bit for now, we hope you've enjoyed this post and don't forget to join us next time for more ramblings... From Boggenstrovia Van Borwick, I wish you a very goodnight... Goodnight....

(National anthem plays...)

And don't forget to wipe you feet on the way out.... Goodnight, wherever you are!