Boggenstrovia's 12th Bit of Christmas... Dribbled with Brandy Buttered Goodness...

So this is Christmas and what have we done? Another year older and fatter in the tum...


Here we are at the final bit of Christmas, as some of you might have realised there haven't been twelve of them, such as vol-le-vents left over from Christmas Day. You might think I have an idea of what to write about, well I don't. So this is a bit about bits, not necessary about Christmas more a strange experience about how exactly YouTube just changed the experience of viewing. The amount of uploads from VHS and Beta is amazing, where as any shared experiences of any event which may have happened. So hence there are a load of uploads of the Southern Ashtar Command experience and other incidents which may be remembered by people.


Let's take for example, 1981 for example, 30 years ago...

"She was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar..."

The year of the Don't You Want Me Baby, a royal wedding and riots with Manchester City in a Cup Final. Who said that 2011 was any different, but with the time of year came the listings magazines of the Radio and TV Times. Such it was so special, our family had a special folder to put them in. Its never found wanting as much, but even the junior cousin of the TV Times, Look-In made the effort to show itself to be in a festive party mood around this time of year. Though it seems with 1981 everything changed, from flares in New Romantics and with the introduction of the lime green and blue BBC1 globe in September, it was a shuddering halt to the 70's and on into the 80's with technology at the fore front.

Its not so much an innocent age had gone, but had changed with the times...

"Its for you-hooo!"

At that point when the GPO as was were still running telephones and delivering the post on time, there was something to be said about the way that they were promoted. Buzby was on the  telephones side and Postman Pat on the Mail side, they were as big as anyone can imagine now. Its not like that we didn't trust them, but they were a key part of how these things were sold to us as consumers. Their lives of their own made themselves popular, the strategy and the mindset of companies was different, of being friendly and on our side. But thanks to JR and Dallas, we discovered that meaness was a way to go. Through no fault of our own, we had been sucked into the business of business, yet now from think about dramas about business, we watch as real business is being portrayed by people trying to get to a point and hope situation. 

We look at YouTube and see so many different videos of the number of opinions and also thoughts as well, inbetween them there is the recording from Beta and VHS, things which might have been lost for ever but now in cyberspace, sure there are people who try and recreate stuff, badly... Though if it wasn't for that, we would have something to look at to be able to look at old adverts, junctions and bits of programmes. We have become the keepers of the archives, we create our own pasts and future.

So Merry Christmas from me, I'll be back in the New Year with more nonsense to waffle about. But until then, have yourselves a Happy Christmas and don't forget to leave the purple quality street alone...

Boggenstrovia's 11th Bit of Christmas - Baxter's Choice Cuts

Christmas, what does it mean for you? It might be the Christmas spirit, it might be the food, it might be the presents etc.. But it comes as no surprise, that the highlight of Christmas must be the Queen's Speech. But hold on, that's not the Queen...

"I never watch him..."

Stanley Baxter, what can we say about him? Well, for many years he was the highlight of Christmas both on ITV and the BBC as well. Baxter in himself was a master of comedy, but the cream of the crop had to be the Duchess of Brendagh. At that time an impression of the Queen was seen to be taking the mickey of the head of state, never referenced as such in the sketches but such was the influence of Baxter, that staff in the royal household used the the title privately. For nearly 25 years, his specials and series were as good anything and such was the influence that in 2008 when ITV made a retrospective about his shows, young comedians queued up to praise him for what influence that he had on them. Plus Baxter made new sketches for the show, serving as a reminder of what a performer he is.

The shows were made lushious by the orchestration from Alyn Ainsworth but not only that the direction of what was highly technical scenes which may involved Baxter play all the parts being filmed individually piece by piece and the skill in editing as well to stitch it together to make it look as real as possible. The set pieces especially in the Christmas shows were written wonderfully, but captured the essence of what ever movie or television programme they were taking off. A perfect example of this is Towering Quake '75 from Stanley Baxter's Christmas Box, with disaster movies being all the rage at this time, Baxter used this to be able to pull off a perfect parody of the genre. Below is the 9 minutes and 32 seconds of joy which is that, showing what a master he is.

Oh dear, what can the matter be?

All of Stanley's characters are stuck in the lavatory...

But the one sketch which get me is Stanley's Nationwide sketch, taking the process of Nationwide and giving a spin from Stanley... Enjoy and don't forget to pass that cake around the regions.... 

Getting away with it Scot-free...

Back tommorow as we arrive at the 12th and final bit of Christmas, so I do hope you can join me then...

Boggenstrovia's 10th Bit of Christmas... Consider yourself... to be lucky not to miss this...

So, BBC1 are running a campaign to make us 'feel at home' and part of their Christmas. Some of you might say 'Bah, humbug!' or 'Poppycock!' at the mention a television channel trying to inject some spirit into the festive season with it branding and positioning of it.


For so long in Britain, we have rejected this style of 'Here we are!' promotions, which are more prevalent in America with the networks over there. But its strange to think that this maybe a fallacy of broadcasting in this country, it might just be the British psyche that it doesn't represent us. Though you would be wrong in thinking this at all, it is Christmas where the selection box of stars are wheeled out to show themselves and the recognisable faces are given the chance to address the nation like kings and queens of broadcasting and entertainment.


Take for example this promotion from BBC1 at Christmas 1981, in showing that the channel isn't all about entertainment but also what else they do as well...

"All warm and Cuddly Ken..."

So we start with The Two Ronnies, the BBC's number one double act at that time. Both Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett, stalwarts of the Christmas schedule by now are put first to be to recognised by all and as they were loved by nearly all at that for their shows. Such a safe pair of hands, they were asked to do the BBC's Christmas Night with the Stars. At that time the BBC's flagship programme on Christmas night, so something for all...

With appearances from the Swap Shop team, Les Dawson, Ken Dodd even the BBC news and the Tommorrow's World team, this shows the branding of the channel or maybe a more innocent age of a television station caring about its loyal viewers. 

But what about ITV? They maybe commercial, it may seem that the adverts the channel now but even they would treat Christmas as something special. In terms of the 15 companies they may have separate by each producing their own programmes, but they formed a united front when it came to Christmas presentation. Knowing full well, that in competing with the BBC, they had to make sure they were on the top of their game. 

Chas and Dave, like fish and chips... Without the fish... or the chips

The example above comes from ITV in Christmas 1982, straight off the bat comes Lennie Bennett, who earlier had help launch TSW into life. Its easy to forget that Lennie Bennett was on of ITV's biggest stars in the early 1980's with Punchlines, such was its success that be afforded   an early evening spot was treasured by most shows. 3-2-1 had that spot on Christmas Day, being able to pull in the viewers. With a bit of pre evening meal entertainment, as far as that goes, its good enough fair by either show

The programme at 7pm on Christmas Eve is a bit of a mystery really, it purpitrates to be a celebration of Music, Comedy and Dance called 'A Christmas Lantern'. I'm guessing Wayne Sleep and Roger Whittaker were involved in it somewhere, but as a presenting wrapping programme, its one to settle down and relax to. Its of its time really, being presented with the now would maybe confuse people as they are used to overnight sensations made over months and months on some reality show or other. Ok, rant over about that. But is like a trick is missed sometimes, thought I will give ITV its due for getting someone like Michael Buble to do a show for them, maybe not all is lost then. 

Though its rounded with Gary Terzza making a joke, but its the style of ITV's friendly style and also of the in-vision continuity announcer. At Christmas, they came into their own and into living rooms everywhere. With the continuity booths turned into Christmas parlours adding to the illusion of roaring fireplaces, such is the imagery which this created in people's mind. Wheither it is a simple Christmas tree or the full on lounge effect, they are able to make that powerful case of television at Christmas...

  

Boggenstrovia's 9th Bit of Christmas... Noel, noel... Born is the king of the BT Tower...

All back? Settled in? Good, now we can start again... One person can be indentified with Christmas and its not Santa Claus... His name is something so Christmassy that the Egg Nog would curdle in itself, that is Noel Edmonds. 


Noel usually to be found up the BT Tower on Christmas Day has been associated with the big day since 1984, though his first Christmas Day programme was to be found at Beaulieu with Mike Smith on duty as well. With 1985 being the launch pad for Comic Relief, in associating with live television firsts meant that Noel could always pull out something from his stocking.

Default Noel Position #75... Hand in pocket...

Once in a while though, Mr Edmonds does have it put all back onto him. Take for example, the clip above. Its the end of the Late, Late Breakfast show's run in 1983 and throughout the series Noel has been send out the Hit Squad to play pranks on people, but maybe it's time for some own back... Thanks to the BBC1 announcer who's in on the joke...

Later on in the decade, Noel started the tradition of his Christmas presents being like the BBC's Cilla and the late Sir Jimmy Savile by having people writing to his programme and Noel would turn up at a person's house, ready to give them a surprise and a present as well...

Socks? A Jumper, maybe? No, when they say go big, Noel goes big! 

Hollies... All the way!

For this gentleman who is a huge fan of the Hollies, a CD wasn't enough... How about a private concert from the band itself? In all of this, Noel can be seen to saccharin sweet with this type of thing. But you don't have to take sugar in your beverage at all, it the idea of something impossible made real which makes Noel, the master of Christmas... He might have gone from the BBC but his presents maybe on Sky now, the surprise element always can be there, but nothing says Christmas like Noel...

Or hang on...

When presenting Swap Shop, a working model of BBC1's 1980 Christmas ident was brought onto the programme to show how it worked, so Noel loves idents does he? Yes, he does... But if there's a gag involved, he's the first one to do it...

"Blast!"

After Christmas 1985, Noel decided to start 1986 with a blast... Literally... Destroying the 1985 BBC1 Christmas ident with a blunderbuss? Sacrilegious! No, not really... In which a good way to show a sense of humour by doing this, but didn't Bottom use guns? So the best comedy comes in blowing something up, so Noel, Noel... Born is the king of Christmas...

Boggenstrovia's 6th and 7th Bits of Christmas... Cold, damp turkey...

So here we are again after technical problems, back again with the twelve bits of Christmas and in honour of not being able to blog for a few days. This time we are talking Turkey or more like food at Christmas, as its the time of the year when we are meant to eat drink and be merry. But who can be after four days of food? You're usually laid up with the Alka-Seltzer and a gas mask after all of that.


So where can we start? How about some pre-dinner action? Fancy a drink?

"Blimey, I'm so drunk I can see an animated deer..."

Babycham, the bubbly tipple... Often found at the back of cupboards, brought out at Christmas to bring sophistication of the big day. It was often a worry that an animated deer would advertise it, what exactly was that suggesting? Two or three of these and you'll be seeing Bambi and saying "Huey... Lewis and the News.." after more of them. Along with Malibu which would be seen at this time, was it a ploy to think that we were all in some sun-kissed nirvana, rather then looking at drizzle run down a window accompanied with battleship grey skies and sleet? 

Apart from egg-nog, this ranks amongst the drink to curl a lip, but of course the ladies would advertise the more exotic fare, from Tia Maria with the sultry lady to Lorraine Chase wafting back from a week in Marbella for some Campari or even Rigsby and Joan Collins camping it up for some Cinzano. People say that that advert was more popular then the programmes of that time, but the tin foil medal has to go to Jenny Clulow... Ms Clulow, announcer on TVS had spent time advertising Contreau on the television... Wheither she had a bottle hidden under the desk, to help her get through another episode of 'The Littlest Hobo' I don't know...

And now onto the main part of the meal, there's only one Turkey we can have around here...

"Turkey..."

"Oh, stuff it! You've cost us a holiday!"

Yes, Mr Turkey... The truth goes he thought he heard the previous person's answer of 'Name something you can stuff' now from there where exactly did he get that all the answer were Turkey I don't know... Along with the Beethoven/Chopin clip which gets dragged out to show 'Ha, ha, ha! Aren't they stupid contestants' this is one which rankles with me. How exactly was he daft? He got big points for it, it could have been worse he could have dropped trousers and mooned the audience... By being 'dumb' he got smart and this clip is a goto clip for any quizshow blooper compliations, wherever you are Sir, alive or dead. I salute you for being a maverick and showing the way of others to follow.

So you've settled down after your pudding and need something to wash it down with?

How about an Avenger, Aunt Sally and a lady who's now a doctor?

"Keen bedside manner? Just as long as she warmed her thermometer!"

Arriving back not from Luton Airport, but the local cornershop Diane Keen and Una Stubbs come back to Gareth Hunt's pad for some bean shaking with Nescafe, before the Gold Blend couple jumped into bed this was class... Mike Gambit inviting two classy ladies in for coffee, now that sound like the start of a film! But no matter, because a coffee solved it all, with the aroma of the beans and that famous handshake of course. The reputation of the brand was such that Gareth was the long time face of Nescafe, but I'd much rather have him then George Clooney trying to flog frothy coffee to us, but on the opposite side, there's people who hate coffee...

Time for tea anyone? Though the post meal thing can be set off with a nice brew though, for so long the chimps would advertise PG Tips until one day birds took over. Birds, I ask you! If anything birds would remind you of custard and not tea at all... So how do you modernise PG Tips for a new age, still the monkey link? Well, you call on a woolly monkey of course and his friend Al! Now Monkey and Al had been through the ITV digital fiasco, with us thinking that another character gone for a burton, but credit to Mother, the ad agency and Comic Relief that monkey was brought back to his rightful place, advertising tea of course... This made the brand even bigger it was before, with giveaway of free woolly monkeys two Christmas' ago now. Sealing Monkey's place as one of the best characters along with the Smash Aliens and Homepride's Fred as well...So for now, I leave you with Monkey and Al and say bottoms up, thanks for being patient through these technical troubles of the past few days... And cheers!

"Gawd save 'im and all who drink from his mug!"

Boggenstrovia 4th Bit of Christmas... Hulk do sudoku?

In television land for a long time there have been Christmas specials, but some time the festive season pulls up a gem occasionally. After @ThatBenBaker tweeted earlier today that on the 26th of December 1983 at 4.35pm there was a Keith Harris Christmas Special including the likes of Stu 'Oooh, I could...' Francis starring with the Orville handler. Though that put me on a trail of thought, hard I know... But thanks to Charlie Brooker and his Screenwipe programme, Johnny Ball did a gameshow... Johnny Ball Games

"I really hope no-one puts this up on YouTube in 32 years time..."

What, what, what?! I hear you call, but the master of Think of a Number had families competing in Christmas 1979 for a one-off show. His brain teasers were much like the usual thing which he would do for children on his show. He even had back singers to sing the theme tune, classy! But being suited and also booted, it seems strange for Johnny to be presenting a quiz. One end of the day, he would asking questions of Big Ted and at the other asking what the square root of 56 was to children. Its almost as mad as Roy Castle doing the Generation Game... Which he did once for Bruce Forysth when he couldn't do that week's edition, so there you go!


One event which spreads itself over Christmas is The World's Strongest Man, this annual event has been viewing with the Quality Street and Nectarines for over 30 years now. From pulling trucks, lifting cars and flipping tyres. During these events the big men try themselves with feats of strength, usually Hulks of men, there actually was one in 1977 which competed. Lou Ferrigno, of course better known as the Incredible Hulk competed in the first ever one. Though coming in fourth place in the contestant competing in his first ever strongman contest would have a bit of luck attached to it, when CBS made the pilot for The Incredible Hulk, originally the jolly green giant in the pilot was Richard Kiel but when Kiel didn't seem right for the role, the producers had a problem, who was big enough to play the Hulk. First of all they went to Schwarzenegger, but his accent was a problem to understand... OK, so who do you go to next? Ferrigno was the natural choice as he like Schwarzenegger has already been a Mr Universe himself, although with some slight deafness himself, this didn't prove to be a problem to the producers.

"Rrrrr-ip!" 

"Anyone got a needle and thread?"

"Anyone?"

For many years until his death, this was the domain of Donny MacLeod of Pebble Mill at One fame, with his Scottishness proceeding over the commentary until his death in 1984. Never with anything ironic with his delivery, he treated the competitors with as much respect they deserved. The height of its popularity came with ex-shot putter Geoff Capes winning the event in 1983, but its place across the Christmas is set in stone nowadays with Five buying up the rights to it in the early 2000's.

And for the last little bit... Eric and Ernie promoting their show and also Superman III as well. As I bid you fairwell until Friday for more fun, fun, fun!

Boggenstrovia's Bits of Christmas - Number Three... Rude, Lewd and a little bit nude...

Hello again and we are at the three French Hens stage of the countdown, though who let Bridget Bardot, Audrey Tautou and Charlotte Gainsbourg in here is anyone's guess.. There comes a time of year when people like to let their hair down or in Bobby Charlton's case, his two strands... But imagine you are working making programmes all year round for people to watch, as we know though Light Entertainment is a hard business especially to get it right. So for all the staff, they need to let off some steam at the end of the year and have some fun, same goes for the performers as well.

This is where the Christmas Tape or Film, as they were originally called came into its own. As the first earliest examples are of impromptu sketches being filmed at the staff's Christmas party, usually involving a hat or a wig with some shtick of some sort. But later on more and more complicated sequences were filmed involving the stars of the time performing for the staff and even joining in with the fun. Usually the bloopers in later years were taken for out-take shows, generally the more racier stuff was kept in to appeal to the staff and every year a competition was held privately to find out who could put together the best one.

Though when journalists found a skit involving Princess Anne being interviewed by David Coleman had been edited down to make Anne say things out of context to the interview, the tapes were clamped down on more and more as practises in the broadcasting industries were changed. But contrary to belief, these tapes have not gone away, the stars maybe weary about taking part but the staff at television companies and regions still do make them for their own amusement....

Let's a look at what the boys and girls in VT got upto...

1. "Give me a shot of Enge please!"

The legendary Stewart "CUE THE ROLLER!" Morris here directing a piece for the BBC 1979 Christmas tape 'Good King Memorex' partly persuading Engelbert Humperdinck to film a piece with the girl dancers from his show for VT, but also Stewart plays along with the nature of the tape making jokes as he goes. This shows Morris at his best, in control but getting the best out the performers he worked with but also having a laugh as well. Stewart Morris could that so well, knowing that his rapore with the staff he worked with was intact to be able to produce great shots when needed, but loving the cheekyness of the whole thing as well...

2. "I don't believe it! Figgis, why have you got a party hat on?"

Richard Wilson here in full 'Only When I Laugh' mode with James Bolam as well offering good advice on the do's and dont's of Christmas lunch from a 1983 LWT Christmas Tape. Wilson known for appearing 'Only When I Laugh' at that time, acts the same way that his character does to make it sound very genuine. Its his words which make this clip, appealing to the saucy nature of production crew, the laughter from the crew says it all "We get where you are coming from..." or depending on the nature of where the wind is blowing... But seeing this doesn't make Richard Wilson of being other then being a great performer, in fact it adds to it that he can play on the naughty side and still seem believable as his character.... Even with James Bolam not even saying anything, it makes the clip funnier that they just stuck a party hat on him to get into the spirit of things...

3. "Boll-locks!"

The best of the BBC here featuring the late Sir Jimmy Savile, Angela Rippon, Richard Baker and sweary Dalek as they enjoy themselves and show their boobs or should that their goof-ups? When newsreaders are singing and dancing ten-a-penny nowadays, Richard Baker just has to put on a wig to make people laugh. Plus during a break from one of his many shows, Les Dawson treats us to a little tune on the piano but the star has to be Noel Edmonds who has a very little time to tell us what's on Swap Shop that Saturday but in such little time he makes so make goofs much to the amusement of Maggie Philbin and John Craven who are supposed to be dozing either side of him. With one familiar refrain of "Merry Christmas VT!" they know that the mistake which has just occurred will be put on tape ready for the Christmas tape that year.

4. "He's a sports PA and he went onto work for the FA..."

Finally, a musical number about working in the BBC Sports department including Suzie Quatro and her band plus a man who went onto oversee England at the World Cup, one Brian 'You work for the BBC, out you go!' Barwick. Ms Quatro plays a little ditty, installing the virtues of working in the BBC Sports department in the late 70's. Taking on everybody and everyone by the presenters and commentators seemingly not trusting the sports PA's it seems, but also footage from many far flung places such as Munich and also a cold soggy first division football ground as well. Its little wonder why the BBC didn't have any left after this or either that everything was settled with a few pints in the BBC bar... Lager 1 Malt Whiskey.. Two dozen...

So that's another aspect of Christmas wrapped up in protective foil for another time, come back on Wednesday when I'll have part four...

Boggenstrovia's 12 Bits of Christmas - Number Two... An Eerie Presents...

As we stumble our way towards the 25th, the same sort of things come up in everyway... We've been to the panto, not literally.. I don't think I would have a bus big enough for everyone! So what's next on the list?

Well maybe some presents for a start, but with so many stores out there there so much choice and Christmas is a time to hear those cash tills a ringing or beeping as they go. With enough beeps, it would send Dale Winton into a buying frenzy as he goes. But at this time, everyone of them is trying to scramble for cash. With Bruce Forsyth laughing at a weak Andrew Flintoff pun as they go around and around, a lesser man would say that they are disappearing into the abyss of the celebrity merry-go-round. But not me, they are flogging food for a supermarket. Though who's been wanting us to get our cash out of our wallets, well partly to pay for their massive wages, let's take a look...

1. Anita then Harris...

Woolies, gone from the High Street but they new how to lay it on thick to get the wallets out. If there was any more stars in these adverts, it surely would have Sir Patrick Moore complaining they are getting the way of Uranus. In 1981 two of the Goodies, namely the beardy one and the shiny shows one were elf helpers to a woman who had lost her skirt for comedy only a decade and a bit earlier. In looking at they look like they are thinking about the money already as they film the ad during the hottest day of the year, plus with more oriental girls than on a dating site and a load of cossacks as well. It can't be said that effort hasn't been taken in doing the ad, but I suddenly think I want a Bontempi B226 Electric Organ...

Motorway Cops.... The early years.

2. There's a big Boots up the rear...

Boots, the chemist who thought they could do anything they wanted and went back to selling Corn Plasters. Now there was a time when they could do anything hence me being able buy a board game based on the BBC News and a Gameboy during the 1980's there, but the sort of let's all buy a teasmade idea seems odd now. Boots was an Aladdin's cave of gifts, on one floor would could get a new set of saucepans along with a toy kitchen as well. In most adverts it seems people are happy to being getting the items they are getting, compare and contrast to a wet and drizzly Saturday afternoon in Portsmouth. It doesn't seem so glamourous then and if anyone had any of those clothes, it would be like aliens had landed in Commercial Road... Not a case of take us to your leader, more like "I think you need to go to Mr Clive, mate..."

"Oh.. Its a camera.... I wanted a nuclear fission reactor instead!"

3. There's No-One Quite like flogging some carrots...

The St Winifred's School Choir, the mini Nolans... After their Grandma, we love you success. Its seems like the funds were low, so they were trotted out by the Co-Op to flog carrots and swedes with what you would call a medley of songs. But they aren't flogging anything at all! Come on, Co-Op put up a few prices or something. as how are we going to know how much your fruit flans are this year. Nana maybe thiking it all nice and cute, but do they realise that Sally Lindsay is in there? From selling potato waffles to waffling on Loose Women, some career paths take strange routes but surely that's taking the Danish Cookies... In which that a supermarket can show the way towards the cheeseboard, it can get annoying very quickly. By that effect, they might as well pump my veins with chocolate sauce now...

Tri-angling for a daily chat show...

4. "Pull a whopping cracker!"

George 'Doctor' Layton installing the vertues of getting a Telstar record, for the measly price of £3.99. If you want your party to go with a swing, get these! A half of mild, plus Charles and David tinkling on the ivories. Now that sounds like my type of party, atmospherics made to be improved with a knees-up from London's finest. In itself, that sounds like a good idea. But any party made real during the 80's, a equation of Chas and Dave plus stale Sausage Roll equals good times. Looking back on it, it seems surreal really or maybe it was a test of character to be able to see in a nuclear war the masses could survive Chas and Dave records being played as entertainment. As we know they along with cockroaches are the only things that can survive a nuclear blast...

"Its The Sleighriders!"

"Who?"

5. That SWEB Shopping Surprise! 

Lastly, a taste of the regions... Before Mr Big Business got his hands on the Electric Companies, they had shops where you could go and buy your electrical goods there. You not only used their products, but you brought them off them too. But who else could encourage you to buy them than Tom Good, yes Richard Briers lends his vocal talents to this commercial and you could say its the only thing that's glamorous about it. The ripping of the paper almost like there's only one person filming, directing and producing the advert, adding to this effect the sickly santa doll which appears on top of the washing machine makes it seem like an ITV ident put together in the week before Christmas. In that it seems like something has been put into the advert and that is love, love for an advert which seems a reminder why simple is better...

That's the presents sorted then, join me on Monday as we find another load of clips to fill the stocking with...

Jack's Bean and gone...

So here we are, the first of my 12 bits leading up to Christmas. Taking the festive season and making it drink so much Egg Nog and Absinthe, that come Boxing Day it'll be wondering about a recipe for scrambled eggs...

Starting off with...

1. Pantomines...

"He's behind you!" The regular call heard at theatres up and down the country over December and Early January, usually when someone's drink is split... Either that the refrain of children excited by sweets and also a character searching for someone. The panto has developed over the years from the early Harlequinade to today's sophisticated lights and music shows, in modern times the attraction is the stars who are in the panto itself. Taking its lead from Music Hall, the great entertainers have always appeared. From Pop stars to comedians and sports stars, they have each done their turns. Each story in turn has been adapted for the major star to show off their talent, for instance Rolf Harris would do his Jake the Peg act in the middle of Cinderella. Which bears no relationship to the plot itself, but it gave the chance to for others to shine. 


The dame is a key role in any pantomine, acting as a foil for the comical turn such as Buttons but also entertaining the audience in themself. The role has been filled with performers with the magnitude of  Chris Harris famous in the South for his time presenting 'Hey Look That's Me!' but also the quality of Les Dawson, Dawson is the master of the dame. His style, the demeanour and also the way he sells the role to the audience.... A true pro...

In myself, my experiences of panto are sort of mixed really from the Kings Theatre in Portsmouth seeing the great stars performing and getting up on stage with Brian Cant to tell an awful joke. But in meeting the great man was enough, but in that same performance... Major embarassment... When Lorraine Chase was playing Aladdin and was at a crucial scene when she finds the lamp originally, guess who shouted at the top of his voice as the lone voice "Rub the Lamp!" Which she replied "Thanks..." I could have nearly died, thinking back on it... Not the best move at all... Thinking over all the stars I saw in panto, it encouraged my love of Light Entertainment...

"Its Bobby Davro... Who?"

This gem comes from 2009 when Bobby Davro, and Mickey Rooney starred in panto in Milton Keynes... Milton Keynes isn't funny in itself, but it comes from the tradition of the stars being put into the panto who maybe don't fit as such... When Frank Bruno went into panto, it was because he was famous for his boxing but with the trend for reality stars now it seems that panto has changed into a vehicle for people who may have been on the television soon enough. The nature of this has been shown in the previous year when Britt Ekland came out of the jungle and to the Kings Theatre, it might be good publicity for the show itself. But with the currency of this, it leads to more people coming to the theatre and also something as such with their effect. 

So what else is there? Maybe a bit of festive time ads, involving panto... This from 1987 with Children's ITV , in which it feels right to be involved with panto time...

More fun here on Saturday... Enjoy people!

I have a dream! Its Ted Rogers on Family Fortunes?!

I had a dream last night, nothing new there then. But it was the nature of it which got me thinking, number one I must have been watching Challenge last night and two, it would work...

 What would? I'm hearing you saying, well the idea that I'm going to put out there maybe strange to some but to others it might get some people thinking 'Hmmm... That might work!'

 My dream was that Ted Rodgers was presenting Family Fortunes, alright it never happened in real life but it seemed to work and it seemed right somehow. It might have been the product of some many gameshows in a day, thought that got me thinking which hosts could switch shows and the show would just as good. But it did once happen though, in a Christmas edition of Sale of the Century on January 2nd 1981 it happened. Nicholas Parson was a contestant along with Tom O'Connor and Derek Batey with Steve 'Pyramid Game and voice-over man' Jones asking the questions of them. Plus Batey and Parsons appeared with Bob Monkhouse in a celebrity edition of Family Fortunes, so two examples there and also the tale I've told you about the potential swap of Monkhouse and Bruce Forsyth when Michael Grade wanted Family Fortunes for Bruce.

"Should old acquittance be forgot..."

If Ted Rogers could be taken out of 3-2-1 and put into Family Fortunes, that would mean a space there and I think that maybe Michael Barrymore or Brian Conley would be perfect choice to join Dusty, Caroline and Lynda. With their all round entertainment skills they would be able to handle anything the show would throw at them, plus the rapport with the acts as well would match the enthusiasm of the contestants. Maybe in hindsight Conley would have been the host after Rogers to take over or to refresh the show, but with Barrymore doing the show that would leave Strike It Lucky open for a new host...

Strike It Lucky is a simple format really, not saying that it is a cheap format. But in the right hands it can be done well, part of the time the format with Barrymore is him doing his act interacting with the public. First of all, Les Dennis showed his ease at doing that on Family Fortunes, so he could be my choice, though hang on  ... Maybe what about Joe Pasquale, his chance came with the revived Price is Right. His sillyness provided to put anyone at their ease, so Pasquale would go there.

Thought The Price is Right was a quandry in itself even before the late Leslie Crowther too his place in asking people to 'Come on Down!' Joe Brown, along with Russ Abbott was considered to present the show, Abbott in himself was said to have asked if he could have Bella Emberg as a hostess. So maybe Abbott though subverting the format was the was to go, something which would become commonplace in years further to come. Brown himself had been the host of Square One for Granada, but being seen as a man with a common touch getting close with people who would trust him, as the same would said for Bruce Forsyth and Joe Pasquale. 

"Come on Down!"

For The Price is Right, even through that onto into Whodunnit which had Edward Woodward and Jon Pertwee as its presenters between 1972 and 1978 which took an almost Cluedo-esue format with a panel trying to work out who committed a fictional murder as in the board game, showing that in a show a host can be interchangeable within a format. Win, Lose or Draw had three during its daytime version including Danny Baker and Bob Mills, not including Darren Day doing a 'Teen' version and Liza Tarbuck doing the 'Late' version. Its not so much that hosts can jump from one show to another, but when a format is put around a host, it fits like a glove but when watching a show just think that a host maybe have been up for other shows as well...

But how about Win, Lose or Draw? Well, why not give it a former contestant? I'm not talking about a celebrity who appeared on their but someone who was a member of the public... That man who would be king would be Johnny Vegas, he appeared on the show as an up and coming comedian but surely he would a good choice for a revived version of the show. Though as an interesting aside, Danny Baker also appeared during Bob Mills time as host, this time as a celebrity in week 5 of the 1995 series. Little is known about where executives get inspiration from for choosing a host for a show, sometime they will look upon it as maybe finding someone who's been out of the public eye to being pulled into a role or maybe coming from left field. 

Left field? What about a cockney taking on a children's quiz show? Well, Colin Nutley wanted Mike Reid to present Runaround in 1975, by thinking his firm but fair style could work with kids and it did over two spells between 1975 and 1976 before returning in 1978 to the programme's end in 1981. Though Leslie Crowther and Stan Boardman were host in the intervening years, taking it to today who could do it? There's one man for the job, the love of the quirky... Londoner... and always funny... How about Danny Baker? There's left field for you! Baker could take the items and give it his own brand of spin... But what about this for a link? Gary Crowley who filled in for Baker on his BBC London show whilst undergoing treatment, did Poparound from Central... The last time the format was put to a series, so maybe it would have come full circle in that way.

"Oh hello! I want to suck your blood, Mike..."

"Get out of it, Charlie!"

We can only theorise about what might be, but one host might be good for another's position... John Humphrys for the Generation Game anyone?

A quizzical situation...

In these times of the credit crunch everyone is feeling the pinch, especially the television industry. So it comes down to what ideas are cost effective and usually the solution lies in mass producible programmes such as Deal or No Deal and Countdown leading to monster runs of each basically spanning the whole year.
The phenomenal success of Pointless shows that a stranded show in the schedule puts the channel into a position where they can control what they want to do.  In the re-runs of early Pointless on Challenge, the seed is sewed as far the game is so addictive and being able to play along at home, which any quiz is giving its back teeth for.

ITV have experimented somewhat more then the BBC by re-introducing The Price Is Right with Joe Pasquale some time ago. But everyone knows about Golden Balls and Weakest Links of this world, though if it gets worse what shows will be brought back?

Here we ponder at the lesser lights which could fill up a wet Wednesday afternoon against Dickinson’s Real Deal...


Takeover Bid (BBC 1)
The Brucie lead vehicle of the late 80’s and early 90’s when he came back to the BBC, encouraging players to steal prizes off their opponents. Quite right for these times when it seems like every other company is taking over everyone else, so why not have that business-like jolly uncle turned entertainment host Gerry Robinson takes over the role of quizmaster plus with the added bonus of Adam ‘Shaw’s Shares’ Shaw as the glamorous assistant. “Your prizes value may go up or down owing to market conditions….”


Talkabout (ITV 1)
Verbally adept game show once introduced by future Peep Show executive producer Andrew O’Connor is brought up by Simon Cowell’s Syco TV in which the self appointed entertainment guru ditches the game and makes up the rules as he goes along. Contestants are punished if they don’t talk about The X Factor, Britain’s Got Talent or any show presented by Ant’n’Dec, the show is given a trillion week monster run by ITV as they see the potential to use a phone vote to get rid of the contestants one by one…

  Lucky Ladders (ITV 1)
Presented by the woman from the accident claim line adverts. As contestants come on and claim for such things as a loose fitting pen lid to a violent sneezing fit because the waitress in a Little Chef dropped the pepper. If their claim is suitable enough they are given thousands which they have to pay back eventually at double the rate of inflation…

"Gordon Bennett! No it's actually Lennie in fact..."

The Travel Quiz (BBC 1)
Contestants are giving the chance to win pictures of all the destinations that they cannot travel, all to due to the rising costs of air fuel. Due to copyright restriction, only pictures of British seaside resorts maybe used thanks to a dusty box of photos left over from Holiday ’78 found in a cupboard at the back of BBC canteen behind tins of semolina and prunes. (Andi “Ow, that’s rather hot isn’t it?” Peters not included…)




That’s My Dog (ITV 1)
Ironic twist gameshow, where half the staff of Heat Magazine are charged with
trying to control certain nightclub *ahem* beauties and keep them from getting
too merry before filming whilst Derek Hobson tries to reflect where his career has
gone and why they have turned the South-West’s number one produced gameshow
into a scene from Footballer’s Wives…



If that the case of being funny, by suggesting them its a serious business that people will tell you in the number of quiz shows have been piloted for BBC and ITV, with The Weakest Link leaving us soon, it brings into focus that when a format finishes, the next idea has to be ready to go....

So when they've started I'll finish and hopefully it'll be a starter for ten...

All aboard the Euro-visions express (Part Two)

So after a stop off in Spain we are ready to start our journey again in Germany, now you might think that Germany and light entertainment don't go together as bedfellows but strangely they do. With their love for Monty Python and associated shows which have been shown on various channels through out Germany, but more about trans-european shows later...
Though first of all when Robin Blamires tweeted me in response to Part One, he reminded that Noel's House Party made it to Germany for a short while. In 1994, a Germanic version broadcast on Sat. 1 presented by Thomas Gottschalk. Gottschalk himself had been on a similar career path to Noel Edmonds, radio presenter playing pop music but also he had done a entertainment show called 'Na Sowas!' which I referered to in part one. 'Na Sowas!' or roughly translated 'Well Something Like That!" was in style very like The Late Late Breakfast show. So the comparisons are there between Gottschalk and Edmonds, in which the love of live television has seen them both encompassing live stunts into their shows.
Since 1981 there has been one show which has maintained its place as Germany's number one entertainment show and that is 'Wetten Dass!' or as when it came to these shores 'You Bet!' Its format runs the same as the latter but it is live with the addition of music acts to allow the grand sets needed to be set up ready for each of the challenges. The original host and creator Frank Elsner presented the show up until 1987 when Gottschalk took over the show for five years, but took time out between late 1992 and the late 1993 and handing the show over to Wolfgang Lippert. Though Lippert only presented nine editions during this period, Gottschalk came back to present and he has stayed there ever since. But following an accident nearly one year ago which left a man a quadriplegic when one of the challenges went wrong and the show was pulled off air with Gottschalk unable to continue, he made the decision to leave the show at the end of the 2011 series on the 3rd of December because he felt he had to leave.

Gottschalk's place as Germany's number one entertainment host has been has been assured, so if you can get to see that final edition with Gottschalk of Wetten Dass on 3rd December it will be worth it for a man who has transcended his television career by even appearing in Sister Act 2, as part of Whoopi Goldberg losing a bet on the show.

Thomas Gottschalk not betting on the original host appearing...

As we move on from Germany, we enter Switzerland. Why Switzerland, what programme has come from Switzerland? Though a few have gone there... Switzerland, the home of the Golden Rose of Montreux... Through out television, the Golden Rose has been the standard for quality entertainment throughout Europe since 1961 and now takes places in Lucerne since 2004, but this was the prize all producers wanted to achieve whichever channel they were from. Over the years, Britain has had great success winning the Golden Rose and even in some years winning the silver one as well. 

From 1961 when The Black and White Minstrels won the Golden Rose through to 2003 when reality television had come into its element with Faking It winning for Channel 4. Its has been an honour to win the prize with performers of real quality taking the honour people such as Sir David Frost, Marty Feldman, Lenny Henry, The League of Gentlemen and also Kermit the Frog as well. The wide range of programming shows the depth of the British entertainment television industry between these dates with game shows, satirical shows and big entertainment spectaculars providing the winners. In 1972 when Marty Feldman's Comedy Machine won for ATV, the runner-up was The Goodies of which Tim Brook-Taylor found himself in the odd position of both writing for Feldman but also writing and performing with Bill Oddie and Graham Garden as well. Some of the shows which have won the prize have never been seen by British audiences, but in their special ways they show the best that each country has to offer for themselves. With even the prize going across the Atlantic with shows from the United States and Canada winning on many occasions, this shows that the Rose d'Or has the prestige to be able to break down barriers between American and European television.

"And now for something different... and rare.."

As such since 2004 with the categories being separated into component parts such as Arts and Specials, Music, Sitcom, Variety and even giving a prize to the best pilot programme in that year. There have been winners throughout the intervening years such as Peter Serafinowicz, The Inbetweeners, The Vicar of Dibley etc. It seems diluted as an award, though that maybe with the proliferation of some many channels out there. But if Benidorm Bastards or I Survived a Japanese Game Show makes it to air over which could be a possibility then who knows what might happen to the next generations of shows. 

From Switzerland via the medium of a huge rubber band, we are back here in the UK again. So thanks to our European cousins, shows have come over to us and we have sent shows to them. Showing surely the universal language is television and over borders come ideas, new thrills and the chance for performers to been seen in many countries as they can. But for the Gold Standard, they are all trying to achieve at the same time and that, that in itself is just special...

A trip on the Euro-visions express... Part One

Thanks to my brother whilst watching a programme  called 'Na Sowas!' presented by German's Noel Edmonds with him tonight, he wondered about the all the programme formats which have from foreign climbs to this country and what ones we have given to the Europeans. The X Factor and Strictly Come Dancing are two nowadays as well as The Weakest Link, but there have been plenty more which have come over as friendly visitors to our shores.

"An ooh and a la-la as well.."

So we start out by going from the UK to France first of all for a programme which ventured forth in 1982 and has just announced a new presenter. Des chiffres et des lettres as it know in France came to Britain when Marcel Stellman, a Belgian record executive took the format to Yorkshire Television and thus 'Twice-Nightly Whiteley' was born. The show started in 1965, but the familar format came into being in 1972 . With the length of the round being 45 seconds rather then Countdown's 30 seconds and duels such as contestants having to complete mental arithmetic calculations in their heads plus rounds where contestants have to find nouns and proper nouns in ten letters. The appeal of the programme comes from it simplicity and the nature perusing the mental aspect of the game, being returned in over seven territories worldwide mainly in Europe.


With The Apprentice's Nick Hewer taking over from Jeff Stelling in January, its yet to be seen if the programme can stay at the peak of its popularity. But with Nick Hewer being the fourth host since Whiteley's untimely death, it has stayed the course since 2005 and with its 30th anniversary coming up in November next year, the loyal viewers will be there as usual.




From France, we move to The Nederlands now. Those who know me will know where we are going with this, Een van de acht or translated 'One out of the eight' started off on VARA Television in 1969 when Theo Uittenbogaard came up with the format, but Mies Bouwman came up the idea of a conveyor belt though this came from a German television show and wanted to incorporated into the show. Through this came the late Bill Cotton Jr. travelling to Holland seeing the format and with ITV's domination of the television ratings at the start of the early 70's thought that the format with tweaks would be good for Bruce Forsyth to present which he did until 1978 when Larry Grayson took over, but such is these formats it wasn't only the UK which took on the programme. Germany had Am laufenden Band presented by Rudi Carell which was also a direct decendent of the programme, similar to the South African, Swedish versions as well. Mainly bringing  on the members of the public and letting them compete in games to find out who would go through to the conveyor belt at the end of the programme. A simple format, maybe but always entertaining. There's something to be said, of the unique appeal to the public of seeing themselves on the screen and thinking that if the contestants can do it, so the people at home could do it better.

Dutch Courage...

Onto Spain as we find a pumpkin and a bin to put it in... Un, dos, tres... responda otra vez was the Spanish version of 3-2-1 and hence it came from there to Kirstall Road in 1978, but the original programme started in 1972 and ending in 2004 not before versions in Portugal, Germany and The Netherlands were broadcast.

Die Verflixte Sieben presented again by Rudi Carell was the German version of the show, taking on the variety aspect of the show theming very edition. As such the Dutch version incorporating the Dutch National Lottery within it meaning that it became more reason to watch the programme. Ruperta the Pumpkin in the Spanish version fills the role of Dusty Bin as such as being the show's own mascot but also as a red herring for the contestants to avoid, this is a device which serves as a role for being able to make the mascot seeming innocuous and innocent. But with its sting in the tale, causing the contestants to be cautious on their approach on what to reject as a clue. With each aspect testing the contestants with games, their knowledge being tested and also the ability to decifer the clues as well. Its puts something into the show which is seemingly lost, the element of surprise as well.

"One, Two, Three... Respond please..."

As we pull into the station for now, we have been through France to the UK, back to Holland and onto Spain... Next time, we move onto Deutschland betting on going through the place where shows go to where they are judged from across Europe with ultimate prize on show...